


Konoha, We Have a Problem

by FairyNiamh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-26
Updated: 2009-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 20:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gaara is in Konoha visiting... Ah... Poor Naruto!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Konoha, We Have a Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, sadly that means I do not own it and have gained nothing but personal satisfaction for writing this.  
>  A/N: Special Thanks to [](http://drivven.livejournal.com/profile)[**drivven**](http://drivven.livejournal.com/) for being my beta. And to [](http://tasukigirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**tasukigirl**](http://tasukigirl.livejournal.com/) who challenged me with _Personal Space_. This probably isn't what you were thinking when you challenged me hun. But I hope you enjoy it!

  
Naruto stood by the urinal and sighed for what had to have been the thousandth time that day. Things were... weird, and for him that was saying a lot. It wasn't that he _minded_ his current... mission, it was that it was annoying as all hell!

Just as he had relaxed enough to finally... do his deed he felt a presence standing behind him. Not that it was hard to tell seeing how the _presence_ was currently right up against his _back_. Naruto turned his head and came nose to nose with his current problem.

"GAARA! A little privacy would be nice!" The blond yelled while trying to stop the flow and tuck himself back in his pants.

"Why are you so jumpy? I just came to see what you were doing," The red-head responded while furrowing his brow.

"What do you think most men do when they stand here? Oh sweet kami... please tell me that you... you... have done... _this_ before! I so did not sign up for potty training an adult."

"Of course I have. I just do not see why you are making such a fuss about it. I have one of those too you know," Gaara said with a straight face.

"Whatever... let's just... get out of here and go eat," Naruto mumbled while heading over to the sinks.

"You are going to wash your hands aren't you?" Gaara asked while staying really close to Naruto.

"That would be why I'm heading to the sink and not the door," the blond replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Good. I would not wish to eat with someone who did not wash their hands."

"Yeah, whatever, let's go. I'm hungry!" Naruto said while flicking water off of his hands.

"Where are we going for lunch?"

"Ichiraku where else?" Naruto replied while jumping in the air.

"Ichiraku? What do they serve?"

"Only the best ramen anywhere!"

"Hm-mm... I've never had ramen before."

"WHAT?!? Never had ramen? You poor deprived soul," Tears formed in the blond's eyes while pulling his friend into a hug.

"I do not think I am a deprived soul just because I have never had ramen," Gaara mumbled with a blush from the blond's chest.

"Oh but you are! Come on, let's fix you up!" Naruto chattered on and on pulling his friend behind him, the earlier mishap completely forgotten.

"Yo, Teuchi-san one top ramen and one miso ramen with egg, chop-chop," Naruto yelled out as a greeting.

"Ah, I've never seen this young man around before. Is he a friend of yours?"

"Hai, we've been friends since I kicked his ass way back in during my first chuunin exams," Naruto stated proudly.

"Well what took you so long to bring him here then?" Teuchi asked while setting the bowls of ramen down.

"Hm-mm, well that's because he's always busy with Kazekage like stuff in Suna. Itadakimasu!" the blond said off handed.

"The Kazekage? Well I must say I am honored to have you eat at my humble restaurant," Teuchi said solemnly before going to attend the next customer.

"Itadakimasu," Gaara said quietly before beginning to eat the ramen that was in front of him. After taking a small bite he eyed Naruto's ramen and asked, "Naruto... does your ramen taste different than mine?"

"Hai, very different. That's why I love ramen so much, so many flavors!"

"Let me try a bite." The Kazekage said while reaching for the bowl with his chop sticks.

"Yaata! No! Stop! Gaara I am warning you... if you touch my ramen I will not hesitate in kicking your ass again," Naruto said with a glare while fending off the invading chopsticks with his own.

"I only want a small bite. What's the big deal?" Gaara asked while going for the ramen again.

"Damn it back off! This is _mine_ , not sharing it with anyone. If you want to try it order this for your next bowl! Fuck! Gaara don't make me hurt you!"

They engaged in the chopstick duel for several minutes. Naruto easily blocked every attempt, to get his precious ramen, successfully. Finally tiring of the battle he grabbed the ramen and quickly finished it off. He grinned cheekily, or tried to, with his mouth stuffed.

"Is dickless being greedy again?" Naruto's teammate asked while strolling up to the duo.

"Shut it ink-boy! I wasn't being greedy I was protecting my ramen!"

"He's not you know," Gaara replied while turning to finish his, now lukewarm, ramen.

"There see! Even Gaara says I'm not greedy," Naruto said while sticking his tongue out to the near emotionless nin.

"You are greedy. I was referring to you being dickless," the red-head said before finishing up the last of his ramen.

"I know he's not really dickless. He does however only have a teeny tiny weenie."

"Actually he's above average. Especially when it is erect."

"WHAT THE... how do you... _when_ did you see my... my... _that_ erect?" Naruto asked with a blush.

"When you were asleep. I couldn't sleep with you tossing and turning in the bed. So I watched you instead."

"You _slept_ with Naru-chan?" Sai asked.

"Of course." "No!" the duo replied instantly.

"I don't believe you when you say his penis is... above average... prove it," Sai challenged.

"Very well," Gaara replied with a shrug while reaching for Naruto's pants.

"OI! OI, oi, OI! Hands back Chibi Hentai! There will be _no_ showing of my privates! They are private and will _stay_ private!" Naruto said loudly while swatting away the reaching hands.

"I was merely trying to prove our teammate wrong. He is male as well. So what is wrong?" Gaara asked while reaching to Naruto's pants again.

"Number one: we are in a _public_ place!" The blond replied while swatting away Gaara's hands again.

"Then let's go back to your place," Sai said helpfully.

"NUMBER TWO: _He_ is a pervert who likes to _draw_ what he sees!" Naruto continued loudly while pointing at Sai.

"There is nothing perverted about drawing things that are appealing to the eye," The brunette nin said with a sniff.

"No, just... NO!" Naruto said loudly. He looked around and noticed many of his _friends_ openly leering at him and waiting for the... show... to go on. He reached up and pulled his hair with a strangled cry and ran away from the scene.

"Looks like Naruto stiffed you with the bill Kazekage-sama. You must really be a friend... he usually eats much more than one bowl," Teuchi said while handing Gaara the bill while the, now, disappointed nin began to go about what they were doing.

Gaara quickly paid the bill and then followed the blond's chakra trail. He couldn't understand what had set his friend off like that, nor why he had been tense since the beginning of his visit. Well... since they were friends, Gaara felt, it was his duty to find out the reason and fix it.

The trail did not lead to where the Kazekage expected. He had expected his friend to be at the training grounds, the Hokage Mountain, or even his apartment, not standing outside of the village hitting his head repeatedly against the surrounding wall. He couldn't understand what the blond was saying, but he did realize that he was hitting his head hard enough to cause it to bleed.

"You shouldn't do that," Gaara said softly while placing his hand between the wall and the now bleeding forehead.

"Would you just go away Gaara? You've humiliated me enough for one day," Naruto said while sitting heavily to the ground.

"I don't understand. What did I do to upset you?"

"Wha-what did you do to upset me? Have you forgotten that little display that happened about ten minutes ago? And what about you watching me sleep?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"I explained both of those earlier." The red-head nin replied with a frown.

"Gaara... there are some things that are not shared. Not even among good or even best friends," Naruto said while contemplating the best way to escape from those hurt filled eyes.

"Does a girlfriend or boyfriend have more privileges than a best friend would?" Gaara asked seriously.

"Yeah... I guess so," Naruto answered after thinking on the question for a bit.

"Very well then, I am now your boyfriend. There problem solved. Now I must go, it's time for me to me with the Hokage," Gaara said with a nod before walking away.

Naruto flopped onto his back and watched his... _boyfriend_ walk away. How the hell had that happened? Did Gaara even know _what the hell that meant_. Knowing his luck yes he did. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry. The only thing that he did know... was that his personal space would no longer exist.

~Fin~  



End file.
